Dear Santa Claus,
Since you last visited us while we slept in our cozy beds dressed in our superhero footy pajamas, we’ve been perfect angels. Assuming that gets on the nice list, here’s our official Christmas list.
1. New chairs.
2. Old desks.
3. 50 weeks paid vacation.
4. A mascot, preferably a platypus or killer whale.
5. One do over. (Don’t ask).
6. One hour of nap time per day. O.k., one additional hour.
7. A life-size Tom Aspell figurine.
8. Free refills.
9. A teleporter.
10. A teleprompter
11. A promptoporter.
12. The scratch ticket tree from the Feztival of Trees.
13. $2 taco Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.
14. A lifetime supply of fish (for the killer whale, we mean).
15. Hand-knit bill warmers (in case you go with the platypus).
16. Hand-knit Bill warmers (for our friend, Bill).
17. A sweet sleigh for the Food Snob.
18. Coal. What? It’s for the Insider furnace.
