My girlfriend and I were recently hanging out with her (male) best friend from the time they were kids, who happens to be super-jacked and way more “manly” than I am. She mentioned that her car was having some issues and she wanted to get it checked, and I made sure to offer my services before Casanova chimed in.
The problem is, I don't know jack about cars, and she keeps asking when I'm going to get around to tinkering under the hood. Do I go online and take a crash course in auto repair before breaking out the tools, or do I tell her the truth and risk sounding like a tool myself?
Dear Well-Tooled Casanova,
Do you really think that you can fool around with the expert Ball and Chain professionals? Get real – we can read between the lines. This is a very sly trick question that really relates to you trying to get our help as to how you can “tinker around” with your girlfriend. The “best friend” is an imaginary person or metaphor for yourself. You can't admit that you simply don't know jack about women or what to do when she wants someone to “tinker under the hood” (snicker, snicker).
The crash course you should take is not going to be from any auto repair website or buying new tools, but using the tools you already have at your disposal and learning what each one is supposed to do: your lips can be the wrench to hold her lips, your strong arms can be the pliers to hold her next to you, your legs can be the warm car seat when she sits, and the rest of your tools can be. . . you finish this one yourself.
Get the message, Casanova wanna-be? Since she wants to be “tinkered under the hood,” use all those tools correctly and be the auto repair friend she wants, over or under the hood.
