I’m Telling the Truth, but I’m Lying
Bassey Ikpi
2019, 248 pages
Nonfiction
Bassey Ikpi’s collection of essays is tender and poetic while covering the difficult topics of mental health and trauma. The collection spans the complexities of living as a Nigerian-American in the U.S. and the fragmenting of Ikpi’s psyche prior to being diagnosed with bipolar II and an anxiety disorder. She is the first to admit that the splintered memories the essays will present may or may not be true.
The book acts as a sort of testament to Ikpi’s many ups, downs and periods of stagnation, as a proof of her existence. “I need to prove to you that I didn’t enter the world broken … I need to prove that I existed before,” she writes in the early pages. Ikpi spends much of the book in isolation, both physically and emotionally, and has a constant hunger, not for food or sleep, but for the possibility of normality. Ikpi writes, “Imagine you don’t fit anywhere, not even in your own head.” The sentiment continues through the book with essay titles such as “Becoming a Liar,” “Take Two for Pain,” “Like a War,” “Side Effects May Include,” and “Some Days are Fine.”
Ikpi’s sparkling highs and torturous lows are made relatable through her expertise at drawing the reader in as she plays easily with the prose form, bending it to suit her poetic intentions. Her persona becomes character, caricature, of a body living with an undiagnosed mental illness and you, as a reader, move groggily and desperately through Ikpi’s world right alongside her. This is an eye-opening read for anyone interested in developing mental health awareness and demystifying depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder.
Laura Judge Concord Public Library
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