The dollar menu just isn't the same

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Of the 16 or so years I’ve lived in Concord, about 14 of them have been spent in a house with extreme proximity to the McDonald’s on Main Street, so I am personally rather partial to that one. I must say, however, that the best I’ve ever had was that from a small town by the name of Gorham, nestled in the northern New Hampshirian White Mountains. I don’t know what it is, but that particular restaurant does the aforementioned giant, often-abused corporation a big favor by existing.

I will, however, leave the rest of the domestic evaluations to you, seeing as you are in a better position to do up-to-date taste tests. My job is to educate the folks of Concord about the fast food scene in Germany.

Germany is a land of many traditions, and the food tradition here is particularly strong. Spetzle, Gulasch, Weißwurst, Schnitzel, Handkäs, Brötchen, Schwarzwälderkirschtorte and much more provide more than enough choices to eat from a delicious national cuisine. There are local bakeries on every corner of every town in Germany, and the little sandwiches or prepared breads they offer are extremely cheap and rather delicious.

American bread is good, but German bread is on an entirely different level. Add some Nutella or ham and cheese or just about anything to it and you have yourself a delicious, affordable, healthy snack.

So, my advice is: If you’re ever wandering through Germany, skip the stuff you can find better and cheaper in the U.S. and eat the good German products. I miss my Main Street mainstream McDonald’s, but freshly baked local bread is a wonderful alternative.

Despite this great option, the German youth share a favorite stop during any excursion with the American youth, and that stop is often a choice between McDonald’s and Burger King.
One of the world’s most widespread stereotypes of Americans is that we eat fast food ALL THE TIME. I got asked if real restaurants actually existed in America, as in non-fast food restaurants. This stereotype has been the basis of a lot of fun made at my expense during my stay here, but, ironically, the majority of this fun has been made by Germans enjoying greasy Big Macs and some fatty fries. Hmmm . . .

In Germany, we have McDonald’s, Burger King, Subway, Dunkin’ Donuts and Starbucks. Some more experienced fast food eaters may argue that Germany is missing out on the really good fast foods, such as Taco Bell and Wendy’s, but that’s just the way it is. And despite the fact that the same Golden Arches stand proudly here as in the U.S., the entire scene is, in my humble opinion, very different.

Let’s start with the buildings. The actual restaurants here are MUCH nicer than those in the U.S. Most of them are equipped with flat screen TVs that continuously play advertisements for the business you are already in (maybe in case you forget where you are, I don’t really know) and popular music videos. The buildings are just as modern and nice looking on the inside, and it’s a more comfortable feel than the American originals.

The food, on the other hand, is a bit of a disappointment. Somehow it tastes a bit dryer, not quite as juicy or greasy as I’m accustomed to. The taste seems to lack the explosion-in-the-mouth phenomenon that the U.S. McDonald’s offers. It could just be that I’m sour about the prices, but I really think fast food tastes better in the U.S.

Burger King is a little better. I had always been an avid supporter of the red and yellow banner of McDonald’s, but Burger King here really is better quality, and I think their Euro menu might be a bit longer as well. That’s not saying much, but at least it’s something. There are also a few differences in selection.

The prices are also definitely higher here for smaller portion sizes. The dollar menu, or Euro menu as it exists in Europe, is pathetically brief. That was a great source of discontent for me because I’m definitely a dollar menu type guy. A double cheeseburger, small fries, a McChicken and an ice cream sundae is basically all a man needs to sustain himself. Here, a chicken sandwich costs like three Euros, and instead of a double they only offer a single-patty cheeseburger for a single Euro.

Speaking of inconvenient prices, I’m going to college in the fall and I don’t have very much money. I asked the Insider if I could do a little advertisement here, and they said sure, so bear with me for a second. I’m going to be getting back this summer after all of those pesky high school and college students are done with school, and I will be extremely low on money. I badly need a job to earn some resources to make college possible. If anyone out there has fallen in love with my literary prowess and thinks I might be able to work for them this summer, or knows a handy scholarship I might qualify for, please let me know. The wonderful people at the Insider have my contact info (please excuse me if I don’t broadcast it across town). I sincerely appreciate any and all help you have for me. Thanks a ton.

I’ll conclude with the following amusing thought: Some McDonald’s in Germany have beer on the drink menu. My evaluation: fast food beer is not worth it. Get a Coke instead.

Now for vocab:
Fast food: Fast food
Miggas: German nickname for McDonald’s. (That’s how it sounds, I have no idea how you’d spell it.)
Pommes: French fries
Lecker: Delicious
Ich habe Hunger: I’m hungry
McDrive: Drive through
Satt: Full, sated

Tommy Symmes