Book clubs are great. They introduce members to wonderful writing and new ideas, and they rarely end in large fires. I led quite a few book discussions back when I was a librarian, and not a single one ended with panicked readers fleeing a burning building. Sure, they fled, but not because of fire.
That said, avoiding a deadly inferno is not the only key to a good book discussion. You'll want to make sure your book club has, in fact, chosen a book. There's a reason you don't see many coleslaw discussion groups: They lead to long, furious arguments over using tangy mayonnaise versus plain. Those arguments lead to fistfights, which lead to riots, and soon all your anti-fire precautions are for naught. So stick with a book.
But which book? You could leave it to chance and hope your group members somehow all read the same novel, but that's unlikely to happen, and if they do, they might read, say, the Unabomber Manifesto, or Pat Boone's teen tome “Twixt Twelve and Twenty.”
Choosing a book isn't easy: There are millions of choices, and that's not even counting the books not by Stephen King. Scientists invented a device called Oprah Winfrey to help book clubs through the selection process, but after a few years it malfunctioned and would only recommend books that Sidney Poitier hadn't written yet.
Booksellers and librarians can help, of course, but so can talking action figures, provided you're able to track down books like, “You've gone too far this time, Megatron!” or “Wabbit Season, FIRE!”
It's baffling, I know. But don't worry. I've got some tips to help you through this very complicated process.
• Don't choose an instruction manual, as these discussions are usually short and disappointing, e.g. “How can we really know that our new Espresso Caddy will provide hours of caffeinated enjoyment?” (The one exception is the 1991 Ford Probe Driver Guide. It's a real page-turner, and for a car manual, it asks some powerful questions about the construct of race in modern society.) On a related note, avoid books that are actually literary criticism of other books. Reading Harold “The Western Canon” Bloom is hard enough without mistaking him for a novelist.
Don't choose books to which the authors have admitted exaggerating or fabricating. James Frey's “A Million Little Pieces” leaps to mind here, though the corrected version, “Five or Six Little Pieces,” is no better. Also avoid discussing books where the author has borrowed or plagiarized from other books, as your group members will start quoting from other book discussions without attribution.
• Be careful when choosing nonfiction. A friend of mine decided to lead a book group on the Time-Life World War II series, and their discussion ended in a shouting match after two group members decided the ending of the books – in effect, the ending of the war – was overly cheerful and not believable, and the others launched a sea offensive against them. Maybe this tip should read “be careful when choosing members of a discussion group.”
• Finally, don't attempt an adult book discussion about “Where's Waldo,” unless your book club is secretly an improv troupe making ironic social commentary. Even then, you're better off aiming lower and writing wacky songs about Congress, or something.
Follow these guidelines and your book club will thrive and flourish. Happy reading!
(Brady Carlson is an on-air host and webmaster at New Hampshire Public Radio. He writes the “Here's What's Awesome” blog for the NHPR show Word of Mouth, and more on his blog, livingindefinitely.com.)
