The Food Snob is but one man who destroyed burgers at Five Guys

Artsy peanut pic.
Artsy peanut pic.
The Food Snob’s French fry cup runneth over, and his gooey cheeserburger tasteth real good.
The Food Snob’s French fry cup runneth over, and his gooey cheeserburger tasteth real good.

Scarfing down a perfectly cooked burger with a side of potato strips deep fried in oil (otherwise known as French fries) is what the Food Snob considers a great day at the office. It’s actually one of the only days in which he comes to the office.

So you can only imagine the excitement he felt last week when the rumor mill provided some much needed information – Five Guys, after months of speculation, had finally opened its doors. But just as with any rumor, especially when it has to do with food, the Snob had to see for himself – and of course get a taste. So he put on his “In Search of the Perfect Burger” T-shirt he found at a local swap meet, which coincidentally came with an accompanying bib, and made his way to the 56 Fort Eddy Road location for a little lunch with a companion.

It was busy, but not crowded. There was a fleet of workers, which is typical – and appreciated – for a newly opened food shop. You can never have too much help, especially when the Snob is contemplating an order that includes one of everything on the menu. How else is he truly going to tell his faithful readers what he truly thinks of a food establishment, without a little taste of it all? Unfortunately for the Snob, the budget did not allow for that kind of splurge, but he had more than enough money for something to fill his belly.

But before getting to the food, let’s talk about the rest of the experience. The nice ladies at the counter were great – and that’s probably why the food came out just as requested. And the Snob is not about to complain about the boxes of free peanuts. It made a nice little snack while waiting for the food. (Note: You can’t actually take a whole box, just use the trays provided and don’t forget an extra one for the shells.)

The soda machine was a little high tech, featuring a touch screen to select your beverage above a lone tap to dispense it, and the Snob needed two tries to fill his cup of water, but it also left him in a little bit of amazement as to how all those drinks come out of the same spout. How do they not get all mixed together to make one (likely gross tasting) super soda?

With plenty of tables, the Snob chose to sit at one of the high top tables near the windows where a view of the State House makes up for the immediate view of the large parking lot.

Being called sir and told to have a nice day upon picking up his bagged lunch made the Snob feel important and pleased with his choice of lunch venues. Isn’t politeness such a wonderful thing?

A burger with shredded lettuce and pickles and a “little fry” (Five Guys vernacular for small) was on the menu for the Snob. The double-stacked burger was juicy, fresh and delicious from the first bite to the last chomp. The “little” fry was anything but. The cup it came in was overflowing, filling the entire bottom of the bag that held the order. His companion had the cheeseburger with pickles, ketchup and mustard – and of course fries – and also left quite full and happy. And for $8.59 and $9.35, respectively, how can you go wrong?

Five Guys also offers burgers with bacon as well as single patty beef creations known as little burgers. But burgers aren’t the only choice, as the menu is filled with hot dog choices, grilled cheese, BLT and veggie sandwich options. And if all those choices weren’t enough, all the toppings are free and there are plenty of them.

And to end the meal, upon walking outside, the Snob was treated to a little comedy as two young ladies looked quite confused about where to enter the new Five Guys. It is tricky, but eventually they got it. Hopefully they left as happy as the Snob and his companion.

Author: The Food Snob

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